Parts into a whole.

Parts into a whole

The last blog was all about my reconnection with myself. Of course (or I should say ‘alas’) this is not a constant state of being. However; things have definitely been much better since. I haven’t heard this female ‘no bullshit’ energy since that evening, but I have felt it. I feel a lot more ‘no bullshit’-y since. Easier to put my boundaries in place.
Navigating has become easier as well: What choice to make in situations. 
I have picked up the website I started in Ecuador, when I was just fiddling around. It is almost finished. Still changing things daily. I forgot to take it offline, so I saw I had 60 views on it last week…Hope people understand this.

I did a counselling session with someone after more than a year. It was exiting to set up a room (stole Beer’s bedroom for this), put some chairs down, made herbal tea, put some grapes and nuts down, prepared myself this way. I was a bit anxious: I knew what it was we would be working on and would I be able to help her move forward?
It went better than I expected. Apparently it was the right time for her to make this move. So she got to experience what it feels like to change her convictions about things (thetahealing). And I got to experience what change it brought me.

Another change I made, was to do the things we planned to do and not let ‘the day’ or ‘bad luck’ take us away from it.
After a week of pushing myself to keep doing the things I feel are important, I noticed I took that into rigidity. Almost got burned out from the pressure I put on myself with it. I wanted to push in the homeschooling, the looking at land, the meeting new people at the beach meet-ups, the shopping for necessities, the moving house (last time in the coming 5 months…pfff…), the Spanish classes at the adult school, here in Acequias, the Spanish with the kids every evening… I get tired just thinking about doing all of it every day.
So we had to make choices day by day and pick up what we left to do for another time. I drive myself crazy sometimes, having an idea about the best way to do something and then taking it to extremes. This voice said to keep doing the things we find important and there I go; trying to push it into extremes.

We looked at lands. A 24 ha land for instance. 1 hour north of Granada, too remote and too steep. And the owner from this Airbnb, who has a lot of land for sale, showed us 2 pieces he has. One was 2 ha and the other 6000 m2. The second one, still my favourite one, overlooks a valley with a waterfall (see pictures). The larger one overlooks the enormous Lecrin Valley, with all the huge windmills and the motorway. The land was very nice, we really liked it, but the sound from the motorway in the distance put us off.
Will we ever find the land that would fit the desires of all 4 of us? I feel it is near. But I have felt that for some time now and it hasn’t happened yet.

First picture valley in which the land is, second picture (right) view from land, third picture (below left) land itsself, last picture view on gorge and waterfall.

Nikki and JF return from a week in France tomorrow. They had some things to sort out there.
We are getting closer and closer to each other, the 4 of us, in my opinion. Nikki and I have seen other, more intense, sides of each other in the classes we did in Granada with movement and voice. We have had a small clash last week, but I feel it only brings us closer. I feel there is nothing that we can’t solve together. We seem to be in similar processes at the same time, even over distance.
The comfortable-ness I feel with her, I see back between the 4 of us.
As families we have different growth times. Sometimes we are stuck, sometimes they are stuck, we follow each other in this. This always gives time to help each other with things (like them driving us around when our car was broken and us driving them around when their car was broken) and gives time for recovery of the stucknesses (not an actual word, I think).
I feel like we are all fully committed together, to each other, to finding land, to a future, to the now. In that aspect I think there is nothing blocking us from finding land. JF especially takes a lot of time looking, calling people, arranging meet-ups, etc. Eric is also looking for land a lot, but it is harder with his knowledge of Spanish to call people and make appointments. I am working on my website and on a ‘together’ website. Nikki is preparing for when we have land (she is already composting for instance) and we work together on a plan for selling things.

Beer has been giving history lessons to Lem and Mar:
Mar has been going to the beach meet-ups with other families with kids her age. One time she will be open to contact, another time she is closed. She has been taking steps to tackle her fears (eg her fear of people in general). She will do things, on purpose, that she finds scary.
Lem is very interested in a lesson Eric has prepared; he is going to tell them about the practical side of looking after yourself. What do you need, what are taxes, what are the monthly costs, how to get work, etc.

Last Friday we moved house for –hopefully- the last time for the coming 5 months. Yesterday we moved a whole stack of firewood of 1000 kg up 2 stairs, to have some supply for the coming months for our wood-burner. Everything we buy, we buy while looking at; ‘can we use it on a land where there is no running electricity’. We plan on having alternative energy, but at the start; a generator. So we look at things that can be charged, like a woodcutter with a battery, or a vacuum cleaner with a battery. Gas is cheap here, but electricity is very, very expensive.

We have found out where to buy good, used secondhand goods, organic fresh and local produce, nice people to chat with, where to get our computer fixed, a good garage for the car, etc, etc. We have looked at how to get health insurance here, how to get residency, we have opened a Spanish bank account last week. We are really settling down here, it seems.
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