No group...

No group....
It did not work out. We didn’t manage to get past a fear between us. I won’t go into detail about it, because it was painful to get to the core of the problem and it was not a pleasant process for any of us to look at this. No necessity to wait until the end of the year; it has become abundantly clear now already.
For myself and my own process, I can write about it, because I enjoy being open and sharing what I learn and encounter. But this is so intertwined with all 5 of us, that I don’t feel I can separate my own process from the others very easily. So I am sorry to disappoint the curious people…
I can only say that I have been intensely sad (almost felt heartbroken) on Monday and Tuesday. At the moment it is clear we all mean well and are still trying to reach out to each other and maintain a friendship even though there will be no shared land involved anymore. This ‘reaching each other’ is not working out yet, but maybe in the future?

And now…
Now we are in Spain. The group has fallen apart into 2 families again. Maybe I should be happy to finally have clarity about where we stand. But I’m not quite there yet. I am still mainly sad and a little angry with myself and others.
That will take a little more time.

In the meantime, now that there is clarity about where we stand with the group-land-thing, we can start looking at a new beginning. And maybe we should continue on our own family’s ‘2 feet’ and not with others. Even though I/we am/are scared of this at the same time.
And yes, we realize that this is a familiar situation for us. Remember the Alpaca wool project in Ecuador? Where twice people hook off on the point of a project starting to go forward. I cannot help but wonder why we encounter these situations. Anyone who has any insight in this, or a feeling in this, you are very welcome to share with me/us.
I know one of you readers has gone through a similar process with us in New Zealand. So this similarity goes back way before Ecuador.
Maybe we are scared to do it by ourselves and only want to go for things if we can do it together with others? But even though we might be anxious; I know we can do it and that we can make it work.
I think I just see great extra value in sharing conceptions of reality with others and growing through this. That is why I prefer to do it together. But apparently I really have to let go of this for now (or do any of you out there feel compelled to join?).

People who have looked at my new website (, know of my ideas.
I made the website in the image of what was in my mind in Ecuador. It might not exist yet (like the land and the houses; small detail…), but I put it out there anyway. In the hope that it will start to create itself from that image.

Funny thing is; I’ve already had 3 women asking me to be with their birth (and a lot of email counselling requests as well… for the people who read this; thank you guys; for your trust!). No idea how they found me, where they heard of me -because none of them came through the website- but there you go.
All of them had medical indication to birth in hospital and felt stuck where ever they were in the world (one in Spain, one in the South of France and one in the Netherlands).  I haven’t gone into ‘being with a birth’ just yet. Also because I don’t want to be ‘alone’ in this. I would like others to join, to help.
It remains interesting, though, that it keeps coming into my world.
Why am I mentioning this? To go to my next point:

So how do I/we see the purposes of this land? To start; these are just idea’s and they can change. Also I would love to hear more idea’s. So if anyone who reads this, thinks ‘ah, that would be a great plan’, let us know.

I see this land partly as a haven for women who can’t birth in the area where they are, the way that they want. If people want to help with this; I don’t actually want registered midwives. When you are registered you have signed up for a certain ‘standard’ and I don’t want that standard here. Also; you are accountable when you are registered. That works against you, here in Spain. Better to be ‘free’ and pretentious-less.
For this I would like to put up some large tents (buildings over time) so families have space for their birth process. On my website I put prices down. Please disregard these. I am working on another system, so people who can’t afford it can also come.

We see this land partly as a place to give retreats (one of the income factors). The first retreats will probably also be in (fully equipped) tents.
In Spain you are tolerated to ‘live’ on your own land, without any licenses to build and whatever, if your home is ready to ‘move’. Because that would show that you are probably not permanently living there: Without a proper licenced house, you are not allowed to look like you are permanently living there. Lots of people do this anyway. They build unlicensed permanent-looking houses and live there. Some get away with this, others don’t.
Non-permanent looking places, like for instance is the case with a yurt, a tent, a caravan or a house on poles are a good way to live. And temperature-wise, this is also a good option in this country. The land lies in a small valley and therefore the temperature is even quite soft in the colder winter days, we noticed (we have been there now in rain, in coldness and in sunny and warm weather).

Eric sees this land as a possibility for people to just visit. Like for a holiday. For instance with their own tent, or with a tent or caravan we have made ready to be in (like glamping).
He and Beer would like to build a nice little non-permanent-looking Airbnb over time.

The land would be a place for us to live on. Starting with 2 caravans for sleeping and an outdoor, simple kitchen, a generator for energy (and solar panels and wind mill when we can afford it) and a small tank to fill with free water we can get in the village fountain, until we can connect to the aquaduct nearby and build a large water tank to store water for dry times.

Maybe you remember the video of the land we are talking about (
This land is 6000 m2, has several large terraces and niches for people to be in a tent or caravan. The land has water rights (very important in this part of Spain).
Electricity is very expensive in Spain, which makes going unto alternative energy even more rewarding. The views are amazing. The land ‘feels’ good. Even ‘the group’ agreed on that point. It has mature fruit and nut trees. There is no one nearby. The closest town (Pinos del Valle) is only 2.5 km away, but on the other side of the mountain. So peace and quiet. 20 minutes from the sea and 20 minutes from Granada-town.
Not trying to sell anything here!

The land is low-priced (under 50.000 euro). The owner has even offered to play bank for us (already weeks ago he offered this), so we can do a down payment and pay each month a small sum (even less then we pay for rent right now), until we pay it off. Over 5 years or over 10 years, whatever we choose, with the option to pay the full amount when we have it.
For him and us it is a win-win situation; they have reached the age where they wish to retire from looking after lands and houses. They live in the area, people know them, we are renting a house from him at the moment. This means we found out how they work, how reliable they are, etc.
And even though we don’t have the money to make a down payment and start all this up yet, this situation, in a way, seems to scream at us ‘do it!’

As you can see in this blog, I am asking for imput. For your thoughts, idea’s, advice. And anyone willing to help physically to build stuff, plant stuff, plan stuff, is also very, very welcome.
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